Do MS and Epilepsy affect who I am?

I touched on this once before but I have been pondering this a lot just lately.

When I was diagnosed with MS in 1994 I still felt like the same person I had always been, I waddled a bit, fell over, dropped things and sometimes couldn’t see straight but I was me. When I returned to England I joined the MS society but quickly stopped going to meetings because they referred to me as a patient! I wasn’t a patient, I was just me.

I noticed when walking around using crutches the odd funny look, mostly from older people? as if they were trying to work out what was wrong with me? Then I started to notice that people close to me were treating me differently. I wasn’t asked to help with things that I had always done before, I wasn’t asked for my opinion very often and very little was expected of me. I was becoming less me!

Now that I have Epilepsy I think I have stopped being me. I don’t work, I no longer do DIY and people rarely visit! I think I am becoming invisible.

The worst part about being the non me is, the way other people don’t see me now, I don’t see me in the future.  Having no vision of a future is very unnerving, I have never had great ambitions but I have always had some kind of plan for a future.  Did I just give in and accept other peoples view of me or did my illnesses and the accompanying drugs take away the essence of me?

Maybe I spend too much time thinking and not enough time doing? I did try to do something a couple of days ago but it ended with me badly burning my finger with a hot air gun.  Oh well, at least that means that I am still a plonker. 😀

On the bright side, spring has sprung. The temperatures are creeping up and the big yellow circle in the sky is shining.  🙂

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The Wiccaweys dog today is Rocky who is 3 years old.

Rocky has come to us from our volunteers in Eire.
He was saved from a pound.

Rocky is a very friendly and happy lad. He loves a fuss and is great with other dogs. He travels well. A really nice all round family dog. Are you the folks to make his dreams come true?

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About Mick C Gorman

Slightly damaged old bloke who is plodding on with more than a little help from a great wife. I have been married for 35 years and have 2 grown up children. I did the usual thing and replaced children with dogs when the nest became empty, best thing I ever did (apart from getting married of course). Life has taken a few interesting turns so far but this Epilepsy thing beats the lot! I love lots of things but in the past have never really stuck with them long enough to be good at them, I am trying harder to be better at a few things rather than okay at loads of things. There is still plenty of time. :-D
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5 Responses to Do MS and Epilepsy affect who I am?

  1. Nachthawk says:

    I think you should thiink less about and just do whatever you want to do… of course without burning your fingers…

  2. Dace says:

    I agree, don’t think of YOU as somebody in the past. Think of yourself today, right here, right now. You are and you are who you are and never allow somebody to define you based on their perception.

    We are like a river – we flow, we change, we develop in all kinds of ways. So are you. You can’t compare something in the past to something today as either you have MS or you don’t have it, you would still be a different person with changed views, with changed interests, with changed attitude and with changed physical or mental abilities.

    people might see you as less than before but you know the truth – you are not less, you are just slightly different. Still as awesome as you were before if not awesomer (well, I could say awesomestest but that will happen in the nearest future).

    Think about things that you could do. You can reach out to people with your stories, you can find something that you are good at and use it to better, to educate, to raise awareness, to inspire.

    I will repeat one more time – never allow other people or disease to define who you are and what you can do. Change is always good even though sometimes it seems like a curse.

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