My brother Derek

My brother was a GREAT man. He didn’t climb Everest or swim the English channel, he never won an Olympic gold or an Oscar but he was great.

Derek (Delboy) was only 52 when he suddenly died on November 29th 2012. He worked hard all his life at the same engineering company and saved well for the future that will never come.

Delboy was a quiet man who on the surface kept himself to himself but behind the scenes he was a bold and caring man who worked tirelessly for other people as the union steward at his work. As a socialist and a fine human being, Derek hated bigotry, unfairness or any form of ill treatment of anyone. He would never raise his voice or fists against anyone on his own behalf but he wouldn’t back down in the defence of others, one could say that he was a gentleman.

Delboy was very fit and active all his life which makes it even harder to understand his sudden death. He walked everywhere. 2 miles to work, a full day of physical work and then 2 miles back, walk to the supermarket, walk 4 miles to visit Mum! endless walking. I don’t know enough about Aortic aneurysms to know if fitness plays a part in them so maybe he would have got it even if he had been lazy? It’s still not fair though.

As a Gorman boy, I hope that Delboy would have known that he was loved by his brothers but he probably never heard it said, we are the tail end of the generations that don’t behave that way. My own children were raised to share their feelings and to say “I love you” whenever they needed to but we didn’t! I wish we had. 😦

Delboy started life as a shy and introverted lad who admired and copied his elder brother, but suddenly he went further. In music he went back 2 decades further, in politics he went more to the left and in the quality of his housework he was on another planet! 😀 At his funeral our elder brother said “Delboy painted his house more often than I wash dishes”. To be honest we probably all envied him most of the time.

Delboy would have loved to have children but that didn’t work out for him, he had a long relationship and a step-daughter who he loved dearly but he would have liked a child of his own. Life can be cruel because he would have been a great dad who would have given everything he could to a child when so many “dads” try to avoid doing so!

He had a great sense of humour even though he appeared serious a lot of the time. I still laugh out loud when I think of the time he visited when I lived in Indiana, he would ride around on our lawn tractor waving his arms and shouting at us all “Oi you, get orf my land”  I guess you had to be there? 😀

I am sure that in the big scheme of things there must be a reason why our great brother was taken and unemployed unhealthy me is still here? I am a husband and father so would be missed but I couldn’t help thinking at the time that it should have been me! Thank God I am still here, but I want Delboy back. 😦

Orange St, Indianapolis.1990

Orange St, Indianapolis.
1990

I am not a writer so I hope people will forgive the disjointed wording and higgledy piggledy layout?

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About Mick C Gorman

Slightly damaged old bloke who is plodding on with more than a little help from a great wife. I have been married for 35 years and have 2 grown up children. I did the usual thing and replaced children with dogs when the nest became empty, best thing I ever did (apart from getting married of course). Life has taken a few interesting turns so far but this Epilepsy thing beats the lot! I love lots of things but in the past have never really stuck with them long enough to be good at them, I am trying harder to be better at a few things rather than okay at loads of things. There is still plenty of time. :-D
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6 Responses to My brother Derek

  1. Man, that was awesome. I miss your brother now and I never knew him. There isn’t any reason why some stay and some go, I don’t think, but there is a reason why we’re here. I’m never sure what they reason is, or who it is a reason for, but clearly your brother was here for you in so many ways.

  2. mickcgorman says:

    Thank you Mike
    I would have liked to write more but it was unbelievably hard to do, I am all worded out for now.
    You was right when you said I should write about him though, it helps. Thanks again.

  3. Dace says:

    it is always hard to lose somebody you love. And it is even harder to realize that you never told them how you felt about them. That is why yo have to remember to tell people if they mean something to you as tomorrow it might be too late.

    We all learn that the hard way!

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